One of the recent news stories about presidential candidates has stirred the emotions of a wide variety of people. As reported by Phillip Bump in an article in the Washington Post on July 18th, presidential hopeful Donald Trump said that John McCain, a decorated veteran and a former POW was not a war hero. Mr. Trump is quoted as saying, "He's a war hero because he was captured," Trump said. "I like people that weren't captured."
Now I am not quite sure if Mr. Trump believes what he is saying or if he or his advisers decided it was a good way to get press coverage. If he said this for either of these reasons I am very sad. Regardless of what one thinks of John McCain politically or where one stands on the question of the history of the military interference in the affairs of other nations by the United States, it would seem really low and insensitive to say that about someone who survived being a prisoner of war and made a successful life rather than allowing that experience to destroy him. In that respect Mr. McCain reminds me of a lot of other people that I admire.
This statement which is attributed to Mr. Trump and which he has not denied or said he did not mean to say exactly that also reminds me in some ways of the age-old practice of blaming the victim for getting abused. For many years, and still sometimes today, women who were abused by their spouse, dating partner, or some stranger, were blamed for the abuse. Still today, it is it women’s responsibility in many countries to dress and act in such a way that it is not even obvious that they are an attractive female. If they break this rule and they get sexually abused it is considered their fault. That makes no sense to me at all. True, I do not think it healthy or appropriate (I am old enough to get away with saying this!) for men or women to dress in a sexually provocative manner. Even so no one deserves to be abused sexually or in any other way. No one causes another person to abuse them.
This statement also stimulated my thinking about who I consider a hero or what qualities I admire in others. As a child I grew up with standard heroes such as Theodore Roosevelt, Jesus, The Long Ranger, John Wayne, Huckleberry Finn and some very personal ones such as my Uncle Harold, Aunt Pleasie, Grandmother Pickett, and Aunt Marie. Later I would add such people as Eleanor Roosevelt, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Joan of Arc. More recently I have added such individuals Pema Chodron, Vilja Stein, my son Jamie, my oldest sister, Bonnie, Barbara Bonenberger, Julia Payne, Dr. Marv McGowan, Terry Bicehouse, Don Youse, Denis and Paulie Darsie, Kurt Colborn, Dee Flaherty as well as some more famous individuals such as Sonja Sotomayor, Janet Reno, Father Gregory Boyle, Rami Nashashibi, Wayne Dyer, and Oprah Winfrey. (Actually, I could list many more individuals who I personally know as well as more famous individuals. I hope no one is offended if I left them off the list.) This, of course, challenges me to think of the characteristics that these people seem to have in common. First, what they do not have in common are the same opinions and beliefs that I do. If fact many of these individuals would strongly disagree with what I think about a range of subjects. Those that I personally know do not hesitate to strongly challenge me to think outside of the box I seem to have created for some person, subject or object.
When I am to attempt to make a list of the characteristics which would all the people I admire have in common it would include:
· They love deeply, passionately and unconditionally.
· They have a passion for life and learning.
· They are not afraid to fail or if they are afraid the fear does not control them.
· They are aware that they have been given gifts and often give thanks for those gifts.
· They often use life hardships as an occasion to learn.
· They are aware that their behavior affects other people.
· They think outside the box even when it is uncomfortable.
· They are compassionate and not patronizing. They know or believe that everyone deserves love and respect.
· They laugh a lot.
· Most seem to really love food.
· They work at being present.
· They do not think their beliefa are the only possible beliefs.
· They are deeply spiritual which may or may not have a religious framework.
If one goggles “characteristics of heroes” one will get a number of hits including the following in an article by Donald Milller on storylineblog.com:
6 Characteristics of a Hero: How Many Do You Embody?
by Donald Miller
I’ve been studying story for a long time now but have only recently given a lecture or two about the characteristics of a hero. I created the lecture in response to a speakers series in Minnesota and greatly enjoyed delivering the content.
I enjoyed it mostly because, well, a hero looks nothing like you’d think. And in a way, I found the revelations quite comforting.
Admittedly, this is no scientific analysis.
I basically studied a bunch of movies and tried to find common characteristics of the character that “saved the day.” What I found, though, whether it was Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, Tommy in Tommy Boy, Indiana Jones in Raiders Of The Lost Ark or Bridget Jones in Bridget Jones Diary, is that heroes are not exactly what they seem.
I created the talk because intuitively we all understand ourselves, or rather experience life, as the protagonist in a story. Stories resonate with us, then, because they are cleaned up, clear versions of the dynamics of a human life.
We all want things.
But we face resistance, and we have to risk and fight to make those things happen. It’s comforting to see romanticized, hyped versions of these plots play out on screen.
That said, what does it take to be a hero?
Here are 6 surprising commonalities of movie-screen heroes:
1. They are flawed…
2. They are filled with doubt…
3. They seek a guide…
4. Heroes are lazy but get forced into action …
5. Heroes change
6. Heroes experience pain …
Everyone can come with their own list, but of all the lists I read on various web sites, I did not find one which indicated that not getting captured in a war qualified as a hero characteristic. Of course, both sides in a conflict are going to do all they can to avoid capture. Some may even commit suicide to avoid capture. If one does get captured how does one use the experience in a positive manner. Perhaps Nelson Mandela and Dietrich Bonheoffer are two positive role models in addition to John McCain for people who got captured and used their time to grow spiritually.
I am really confused by the number of people who seem to admire Mr. Trump. Perhaps my prejudices and close mindedness is keeping me from seeing his hero characteristics. I will challenge myself to look deeper into the story of this man. I do know he knows how to fail and to come back financially. I do not have a solid sense of the values, which allow him to achieve financially. I do believe that he is beloved by God and I believe that fact has nothing to do with how much money he has made or lost.
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